We try so hard as parents to be consistent and stay strong because we know that this is best, but let's face it, kids can out last us. There job is basically to play and try and get their needs met, and to them that cookie is a need not a want, but as parent's we have so many other jobs that we are more easily worn down.
So even though I acknowledge that fact, I still need to stress the importance of consistency when it comes to behavior modification or any discipline technique. If you consistently say no to that cookie 8 out of 10 times, but give in those other two times, that is just enough of a reinforcer that your child will continue to pester and whine and throw temper tantrums in an attempt to wear you down again.
That is why I highly recommend picking your battles. Some of the best wisdom you can develop as a parent is that you can't win them all. So why not let the kids have a few from the start and save the fight for the ones that really matter. This will allow you to have more emotional energy to stay strong and not give in when it really counts. Plus it will lead to an overall happier home.
7 comments:
Don't I know it! I wish I could be as consistent as my kids. Which battles to pick IS the main problem. What's worth fighting for?
Wish there were more wise parents like you!
Yes this is my biggest problem but when I say no to him, someone else gives it to my son. Thanks for this advice though because if I can get everyone on the same page he'll learn no is no. =)
http://tigeronmybookshelf.blogspot.com/
Figuring out what's worth fighting for is an important question and an individual decision. What's important to me may be very different than what's important to someone else. There is no right or wrong; just individual preferences.
Tiger - You bring up a very good point, which I'm sure I will address in more depth in a latter post. It is super important that everyone is on the same page. All the caregivers have to be consistent or else the child will quickly learn who to ask to get their way.
You are SO right. As a stay at home mom of two toddlers, I know exactly what you mean. It's so great to find your blog. I'm stopping by from the "A to Z" challenge and I look forward to reading more from you.
Love this post- stressing the important of picking your battles! It's such a great concept and can be "applied" to any type of relationship...and SHOULD be!
Interesting thought. I will save it for when I have children one day. ^_^
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